Well, apparently the universe was listening a touch too closely.
According to The Independent, this is a real thing!!!! And there are more to come!!! In my opinion, we can absolutely blame Fifty Shades of Grey for this surge of poorly written BDSM. Other classics that are getting all sexed up by the Clandestine Classics Collection: Northanger Abbey, Wuthering Heights and the Sherlock Holmes series.
I hope you're reading this on an empty stomach, or what you'll find below will seriously put you in danger of losing your lunch. Here's an excerpt from the new erotic retelling of Austen's classic:
"Elizabeth trailed kisses along his throat and neck until she reached his earlobe and took it between her teeth. “Please take me,” she whispered. “I need it. I ache for it.” Her words were met with only a grunt of approval by Darcy.
He pulled back from her and checked their surroundings, partly to assure they were alone, but also to discover a hiding place for them that was away from the road. He took hold of Elizabeth’s hand and pulled her away from the lane to the trees beyond. They walked on for a short time until they came to a small clearing and without another word, he pulled her to the ground, laying her down on the grass and covering her body with his."